Death comes in many forms to people. It can be someone’s awakening, it can be someone’s worst nightmare, and it can be someone’s life stopping at that very moment in time.
I now see death as a different experience, than I did when I was 10 years old. I remember that moment so dear in my heart, it shattered me completely. I was watching T.V. and all I heard was… “In 2012 the world will end.” I remember the feeling I felt inside of me, it was an empty feeling deep within. I told my cousin who was watching the T.V. with me… “Is this really going to happen?” He looked as lost as I felt inside and said… “I don’t really know.” In that moment, so much fear was created inside of me. I never talked about it with my parents, because I was afraid of even saying the word death.
As I write this story, I have a flashback to a time when I went to my cousin’s, cousin’s funeral. I was very young. I remember going into the bathroom at the funeral home. I felt some kind of way...I remember looking at her in the casket and feeling so scared inside. When we went into the bathroom, I had the feeling of someone following inside. It felt so real, but at the time I didn’t realize it was her...her soul was following me.
It just dawns on me as I sit here and write this blog...all my life, I always felt feelings and seen spirits. I just did not know what I was experiencing...until my uncle passed away two years ago. My whole life completely shifted and changed upside down. I remember when I wasyounger, we had a garden behind our home and I would go outside. I would have conversations with the trees and the flowers. I always played alone, because my sisters were close and I felt like an outsider. I spent most of my earlier years playing outside and it made me feel so free.
I was 12 years old, when we moved into our new home. It was a block away from the cemetery.
A lot of things started to change for me, after we moved in. It was then, I feel I started to become blocked. I do not remember a lot of memories after we moved into that home. I just know that things started to happen in our family, that did not feel good.
When I was pregnant with my middle son, my abilities opened up full force, again. I would see spirits in my home and I was scared of them. I did not know what was happening to me or why I could see them. I would tell them to go away and that I did not know what they wanted from me. I was having different things happen to me. I started seeing a lot of sparkling lights in the corner of my room when I would wake up. I would get up while I was sleeping. I would do things that I was not aware of until I woke up...sometimes as I was doing them. I always felt tired after getting up in the morning and I could not understand why I was so tired...mostly every day.
I was traveling frequently to the other side as I slept, but I never knew that I was doing this. I went to a medium circle after my uncle passed away. It was then that I started to get clarity on everything that was un-explainable to me, at the time it was happening. I felt so connected in this place, because all of these people understood everything I was going through; they were going through it too.
It became real, when I saw my uncle in my room watching over my daughter in her crib. I couldn’t believe that I could see him and I did not know if it was really him. The moment I realized that I was seeing him... the whole spirit world thing became a different reality for me, because I still felt so connected to my uncle. It was in a different form, but still so real to me... because I can see spirits in color. Some people can only see shadows or the outline of the spirit, but for me it’s so real in color form.
We can look at death as the last moment we are with that person or we can allow that person to still be part of our life. We can allow ourselves to have a different experience with that person and allow them to guide us down our path. Some people choose to stay in that lost state and never come back to their self. The person will always be with you, but on a soul level and they can still communicate with you through signs and symbols. It’s the awareness that you open up to in allowing yourself to begin to see the little things such as... feathers, pennies, animals, or songs. The spirit can show you in many ways that they are still present with you, but it is you that has to open up your world again to even notice those things. You can choose to look at death in a different way and open up a whole other world of existence for yourself. It is a world of more peace and harmony. It brings guidance and direction into your life.
I feel so free that I allow spirit to guide my path. I no longer have to resist the best thing that ever happened to me. The ability and gift to have a connection that feels so loving and divine. I cannot imagine going back to that person I was two years ago. She was so lost and disconnected from herself. The spirit world has completely changed my whole life into reality and purpose. It feels so amazing and free.